Internet-Protokol-Witze - Teil 2
Und weiter gehts…:
@pletterpet Best #protolol joke I have heard: An IPv4 address walks into a bar and says: “Quick, give me a drink. I am exhausted!”
@letharion The problem with Drupal jokes is that there are 10000 to choose from, and only a few are funny, but you don’t know which ones
@RichGibson: The problem with PtP jokes is that everyone has to decide how much to laugh themselves.
@fpletz: The bad thing about Haskell jokes is that let understood = map (isJust . understand) $ repeat joke in or understood == False
@gveloper: I’m working on a bittorrent joke, but I only have about 30% and nobody’s seeding!
@quinnweaver: The great thing about a SIGKILL joke is, there’s no way you can’t get it (there’s no ignoring it).
@quinnweaver: Thus bad thing about SQL injection jokes is when people take them literally.
@quinnweaver: The bad thing about an embedded systems joke is, if you tell it wrong, you’re done. You’ll never get a chance to re-tell it.
@kroosec: The bad thing about IPv6 jokes is that nobody wants to tell them first.
@thecoolroomie The best part about these #protolol jokes is that you want to hear as many as you can once you get the first one.
@peter_tonoli Chuck Norris has only one OSI layer - Physical
@peter_tonoli I tried to tell a rlogin joke, but no one listens any more
@lensassaman: The good thing about Twitter jokes is they’re so short. (ht/@maradydd) #meta
@dcept905 The worst thing about #protolol jokes is the ridiculous TTL
@mikesherov #protolol TheGoodThingAboutDomainNameJokesISThatAllTheGoodShortOnesHaveBeenTold.com unless you’re being creati.ve
@AVGP Chuck Norris doesn’t do #tcp handshake - he does #tcp roundhouse-kick to initiate the connection.
@mikesherov #protolol The best thing about Linux command line jokes is that they’re easier to understand if you use a pipe.
@chucksparrow The bad thing about RTS jokes is, you must first get ready to get them told
@Nero_Impala DHCP jokes are leased
@dummybert the bad thing about KERBEROS jokes is: You can’t understand them if your clock is wrong.
@kaiengert The Problem with SSL jokes is that you must get someone else to vouch for you before you can tell the joke.
@kbh01 the problem with UDP jokes: I don’t get half of them
@Nero_Impala OSI Layer-8 jokes are infinite.
@krnlde One great thing about XSD jokes is that you’ll get a warning for every inappropriate content.
@dummybert SSH 1.33 and/or 1.5 protocol jokes are useless.
@metaphox the best GFW jokes are inaccessible from China.
@mattbing Nobody likes a Debian SSH joke. Everyone can guess the punchline.
@d3rp3t3r the good thing about bitcoin jokes is you can mine them yourself
@murphy_karasu At least Ruby jokes have class.
@FloMaetschke The bad thing about mono jokes is you know them ahead of time
@geomblog: The best thing about NP jokes is that you can assume they exist; someone else decides if they’re funny
@quinnweaver: The best thing about symmetric cryptography jokes is, um. it’s a secret.
@gunfood The problem with SMTP jokes are, you need some good reason to came back after greylisting and tell them again.
@JustinZaneBurns The problem with a SQL security joke is that Sony don’t get it.
@kniepbert The good thing about Infiniband jokes is that the receiver __will__ get ‘em
@dildog: What’s up with the jokes… Give it a REST, guys…
@longstag “Time to laugh exceeded!!!” #TTL
@rainynight65 A SQL Query walks into a bar, approaches two tables and asks ‘Can I join you?’
@bondingHamburg The problem with Miranda jokes is that they are too lazy. And that they cannot unify num.>num with num. http://miranda.org.uk
@neuntoeter The bad thing about Kerberos jokes is that I can’t tell them to you because I don’t trust you and I don’t know your name!
@thornmaker Someone sent me 3K Fortify jokes the other day. I read through every last one of them and only 1 of them was funny.
@krnlde One big problem with Bittorrent jokes is, everybody just leeches. When they got them they stop seeding immediately.
@data_cop the best thing about DNSSEC jokes is that you can check if they were told wrong
@sgoguen A good SOAP joke should be clean so it’s acceptable for all protocols.
@data_cop the best thing about DNSSEC is that - oh look a Dan Kaminsky appeared!
@bonsaiviking I heard a great one about IPSEC, but you wouldn’t get it — it’s an inside joke.
@rpl The problem with pdf jokes is, Please enter the password to copy the punchline.
@stephennaicken I’d love to tell you a publish/subscribe joke, but you need to tell me what it’s about or some part of it, so that you can get it.
@bonsaiviking I’d tell you the one about the CIDR block, but you’re too classy.
@svindlerdk snmp walks intoabar and gets unknown object identifier
@chrissistrunk Is “smoke signal” a routable protocol?
@gcouprie the best thing about ECB jokes is that you don’t need to hear the beginning to understand the whole joke
@svindlerdk I’d like to tell you the full joke about a BGP table but I don’t think you can remember it all
@svindlerdk Give me some SLAAC, I’m just trying to prepare for #WorldIPv6Day #protolol #IPv6
@neuntoeter rsync warning: some jokes vanished before they could be transferred (code 24)
@Venty IHAVE
@Venty The problem with greylisting jokes is, that you always have to tell them twice.
@AdmVonSchneider: The sad thing about Kerberos jokes is that you first have to buy a ticket to join the laughter
@Venty The best thing about XMPP jokes is that you can tell when they’re available.
@TheTinyToon I like ARP-Jokes, because it’s so easy to make them appear to originate from other persons.
@IT4n6 ok.. just one more nerd joke: “George Bush only knows one #OSI Layer - 8″ #protolol #myownidea
@focalintent The best thing about 404 jokes is… wait, damnit, it’s around here somewhere. (Hey look, there’s a 302 joke over there!)
@cgommel Unfortunately you need MIB files to understand the best SNMP jokes.
@rubysolo: The problem UDP jokes
@speedyop The problem with facebook jokes is that you need to register to see them
@TheTinyToon Huntingtons clash of civilizations should be solved by computer scientists. Just RFC all those social protocols.
@AndyMcGeeDE You need to tell a authorized POP3 joke before you can have a SMTP laugh.
@TheTinyToon In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
@JastrzebskiJ The thing about XSS jokes is telling them in the right context.
@_Vincent The good thing about recursive jokes is the good thing about recursive jokes.
@nzJayZee: The problem with CSS jokes is that everyone understands them differently
@itpastorn So functional jokes don’t follow procedure?
@chiussi: The best thing about Twitter API jokes is that you can only make 100 of them per hour
@jsgf The worst thing about IPSEC jokes is that nobody knows if you’ve told the whole thing properly.
@itpastorn The best thing about declarative jokes is that you only have to prescribe laughter, no need to actually tell the joke.
@sevildevil1990 The problem with long polling jokes: They take forever… until you lose interest.
@kelko: The worst thing about recursive jokes is, that, when malformed, they never end
@itpastorn The best thing about an XHR joke is that you only need to retrieve it in part.
@olafhartig The problem with NoSQL jokes: It’s not clear in what language to tell them
@mpmselenic Take my wifi… please!
@fredowsley I was going to use my web server to tell this joke, but I don’t think you would GET it.
@nuddlegg the problem with #protolol jokes is you either make up a brilliant one or a total idiot out of yourself
@wesmorgan1 Too many SMTP jokes push the envelope of good taste…
@TimelessP The best thing about CUPS jokes is that no matter how old it gets it keeps being updated.
@roguetexan The thing about CSRF jokes is getting someone else to tell it for you.
@assaron @Bladel You misspelled. Correct version: the best thing about tautology jokes is the best thing about tautology jokes.
@ayourtch I tried to tell a #protolol joke but it was too long for my family - they stopped listening after the first quarter of it.
@jumper_tdv The problem with Tor jokes is that the first two recipients never understand it.
@ulakarzelek Worst thing about pike jokes is they are indexing the NULL value with “laugh”
@ulakarzelek The worst part with R jokes is that you cannot find them via google
@aakashhdesai The best thing about RIP jokes is that they’re funny 15 more times.
@philrem arrival order packet joke is critical to good a make
@mydalon The good thing about object oriented jokes is they bring their own laughter method.
@shaver The best part about IPv6 jokes is that you don’t have to make up the punchline for 15 years.
@nuddlegg the best thing about #solr jokes is that they are mostly made up by stopwords
@mydalon The good thing about failover jokes is that if you stop telling them someone else will continue.
@crowder A lot of people seem to be violating #protolol by failing to adhere to the “proto” part of the spec.
@jsgf The thing about ISO/OSI jokes is that they’re palendromes. That’s the best you can say about them.
@JimPurbrick The best thing about Google Wave jokes is that you can always open source them and hope someone else makes them funny
@inidreamtheater The bad thing about smtp is everyone can visit Homee
@kroosec The good thing about Apple jokes is that everyone think they are new, funny and awesome, even if you just stole them.
@Clechuck #protolol The bad thing with jokes around EOF
@pello The problem with source-routing jokes is that there is always a chance to rebrand the implementation at each IP version release
@wesmorgan1 I always get jittery when making jokes in real time.
@mkhl: The best thing about singleton jokes is the worst thing about singleton jokes.
@smurfix The best thing about Appletalk is that nobody is using it any more.
@ypiypi When you laugh to an Apple joke, you need to laugh the same way as million people.
@wesmorgan1 I saw your POST, but could only respond with OK - I guess I didn’t GET it.
@stevejacobs: The worst thing about NP complete jokes is that there is no good way to tell them…
@FlohEinstein I don’t care if you get the UDP joke or not. I don’t even know.
@FlohEinstein There are no good DH jokes because nobody agrees on the same prime
@awagner73 it may take awhile,…………when telling a java joke. but then everybody is catching a laugh-attack. wtihout exceptions.
@JohnBumgarner The problem with a cryptography joke is that you need to tell a pair of them before anyone understand what’s being said.
@drwhax The good thing about #tor and their unions is that’s like a virtual machine in a virtual machine, it will be slow.. inception!
@mitchblevins: I had an Ethernet joke, but somebody else told it at the same time. So I exponentially backed off and tried again.
@plasticje The great thing about NFSv3 jokes is that anyone can join the laughter.
@FlohEinstein The strange thing about BGP jokes is that they’re borderline funny but everybody repeats them anyway
@hibri Only Alice and Bob get public/private key jokes
@uebelhacker after an #IPv6 joke I cannot remember how it started
@hibri didn’t we run out of IPv4 jokes?
@uebelhacker finding a #heartbeat joke is like splitting #brains
@mramsmeets I tweeted several IPX/SPX jokes, but they cant reach the Internet
@n8grabb I’d dropped my SLIP for a quick
@preed The bad thing about #WWDC jokes is there’s always one more thing…
@tv: The great thing about Teredo jokes is that you can tell smart jokes even when surrounded by dumb peers.
@andywarfield T he bes thin gabou tTCPfl owcontr oljokesi sthatthey knowwhento backo ff….
@sgoguen {1,Two guys}{2,Hear about}{1,are talking}{2,the dope}{1,in}{2,who confused}{1.full-duplex,}{2,TDM with full-duplex?}
@jbxf LAN jokes can only be told properly if you tell an STP joke first.
@jbxf A token walks into a bar. Another token can’t walk into the bar because it’s afraid of the dog.
@jbxf It’s very comforting to know there’s at least one #protolol joke about coffee.
@andywarfield The best thing about SPDY jokes is that many people get them (whether they want to or not.)
@jbxf The more #protolol jokes, the worse the protocol. Very intuitive.
@jbxf A webserver may tell you her joke, but only if you tell her where you’re from and give her a cookie.
@wesmorgan1 UDP jokes don’t always get a laugh - unreliable material, don’t you know….
@iddux Postgres finds foreign jokes offensive. Not so for MySQL
@iddux awk jokes work best as one-liners
@mjambon Blocking this SSH joke because IT IS POSSIBLE THAT SOMEONE IS DOING SOMETHING NASTY!
@iddux C joke run.
@iddux No SOAP, radio.
@iddux XML jokes are well-formed
@iddux C# jokes are dull.
@dildog thankfully, Twitter journaled the entire #protolol conversation and now we can revert the transaction without committing it.
@0xabad1dea Yeah, we really need some sort of control message for when the #protolol feed gets congested… a protocol…
@van_Elden EIB-jokes as well as sans-papiers only imprint once they’re registered.
@xthread Dude, #protolol got an entire CDC longword out of control..
@sambowne I made a great Digg joke last month but nobody saw it yet
@DirekteAktion: If you dont GET the TCP/IP #protolol, you never know if its because of the server or the proxy
@dfreamon gur orfg guvat nobhg EBG13 wbxrf vf, rirelbar unf gb qvt hc gurve 20 lrne byq pbairegref
@wesmorgan1 I have a great collection of Ada jokes, but it would take too long to compile them into a book…
@jhitchco: The four hard things in CS are cache invalidation, naming, and off-by-one errors.
@neverping I can’t tell a real good “C” joke because i don’t have Class.
@neverping The worst thing about i18n jokes is assuring everyone can understand it.
@rsnbrgr @attritionorg Use the #ETIMEDOUT hashtag. Any tweets you missed will get resent.
@WhyIsThisOpen Traffic shaping: All packets are equal, but some are more equal than others.
@j0sema http://protolol.com/nice.thing.about.REST.jokes.is.they.fit.in.a.URL
@hesalas00 If you don’t GET it, you’re not http’ing hard enough!
@deinspanjer Don’t want anyone to know you’re wasting time reading #protolol? Just set DNT=1 and I promise not to tell.
@nuddlegg the bad thing about WEP jokes is that they all stink, so better don’t sniff them.
@salad_dodger The problem with SecureID jokes is that everyone already knows your punch line!
@nuddlegg the bad thing about bean sprout jokes is you never know where thEHEC they came from
@zoonlogonechon A joke about IEEE 802.15.5 is pointless if you tell it right.
@schnitzelbecker I hope that there is no copyright on p2p jokes
@nuddlegg the worst thing about #protolol jokes is that it creaps into your head and everything is checked for protolollability
@alexlehm the good thing about online privacy jokes is that you never have to admin your told one
@alexlehm the fun thing about wikipedia jokes is that everybody can change the ending
@nuddlegg #solr jokes have too many facets for a proper punchline
@iddux: The problem with Perl jokes is that you have to read them 10 times before you get them
@0×52_de The sad thing about german #Wikipedia is… deleted for not being relevant.
@nuddlegg irc jokes are skype jokes told discontinuously are all wiretapped
@S4l2 Scheme jokes are :)))
@fa2gato is that the compiler may change the order. The best thing about FORTRAN jokes @protolol
@pocketAustria the good thing about #P2P jokes is that you only need to tell them once
@kedmanee You have to tell a broadcast joke to everybody to find the one who see the fun on it
@nuddlegg and electric heat jokes are a waste of energy
@nuddlegg get new midi jokes telling them to the wrong group
@sh0bhit105 After dropping the packet the IP said it was my best effort..
@protolol “RFC1918 jokes are inside jokes” http://goo.gl/aWouS
@benn01 #protolol This joke has been lost in the iCloud
@tister Yeah, I know you wanna hear my 401 joke, but I’m not telling it unless you provide me proper authorization.
@tister Sorry, but not allowed to tell you my 403 joke. So stop asking!
@tister Telling alot of bluetooth jokes will reduce the bandwidth of your wifi jokes.
@svindlerdk All the 301 jokes have moved permanently
@tister CRC jokes tend to get repeated until you get them right.
@nuddlegg: the problem with git jokes is that even branches could cause serious injuries reading them aloud
@Venty The best thing about distributed joking is that everybody can participate! joke@home
@Venty The worst thing about PS3 game jokes is that the punchline comes as a separate Downloadable Content.
@Venty #protolol The problem with filesize limit jokes is
@Venty Serial jokes must be told bit by bit.
@nuddlegg broadcast your own arp jokes, mine are only funny within the same collision domain
@Trisk3t I don’t always use TCPIP, but when I do it’s a protocol that no one else uses
@twiterfroeschli The good thing about NoSQL jokes is, they scale well for larger audiences.
@skskilL The problem with java jokes is, people always tell them so slowly
@chiefmillso The problem with IPV6 jokes is they’re long, obscure and no one gets them without a translation.
@skskilL The best thing about iOS jokes is, that with v4 you can listen to more than one of them
@eqdw The great thing about rails jokes is that @dhh will force you to laugh at them
@csatl I could tell you some IPX jokes but they are all topical and based on events from the early 90’s
@eqdw I heard a funny #protolol joke on Reddit yesterday. Guess I’ll see it tomorrow on Digg
@iggdawg I know a great IPv6 joke, but I just don’t think you’re ready for it.
@iggdawg Why are ASAs so noisy? They don’t know how to ssh.
@Nomulous What sucks about HTTP jokes is that if you start telling one and it goes badly, you can’t modify the header to make it a 404.
@Nomulous What’s more, HTTP jokes are rarely better than OK.
@KippiHax I was promised a three way and all I got was a TCP handshake.
@chknofthescene The halting problem with jokes is ……………………….. …
@unp0ssible Three funny things about IRC: lol, rofl & lmao